AUTUMN

I find myself in the glow of a chilly morning as the sun climbs slowly over the mountains and warms the rooftops of the alleyway. Memories flood the senses: sounds, said things, and laughter. Tom, Kevin, Kyson, Adam, Isaac, Lucas, and others too—the ones that got left behind—the kinetic energy of our youth: games in the dark, cold winter days, hot afternoons, tee-shirt twilights on our backs on sidewalks, staring at the stars—growing up, growing old—lessons learned and learned again, sometimes forgotten.

"I'm still here, where are you guys?" I ask fleeting shadows, memories, remembering a game of hide and follow, moments of laughter and tears, bored at Atkinson's, being broke for a buck and a corn-dog with mustard.

I remember, back then, when we were young, we used to play a game—like capture the flag, only with phone books. We'd divide the game between the two alleyways that had become our territory, behind Shorty's and the old Liberty Theater, the Thai restaurant and the Mint. We'd play it till dark and then retreat to the grocery stores until they closed, and at the end of the night we’d always end up in the back of the McDonald's, discussing life and dreams, God, the future, friendship. I remember one night we ended up in the Post Office, because it was the only place open that late, and it was cold outside.

I remember so many things…

Autumn is here now.

The weight of dead leaves, the dead past, passing youth—the stress, the struggles, tears, turmoil. Life: where breathing and economy have become intermeshed, where paychecks must cover the cost of existence.

I'm loosing control guys.

This world is killing me.

One leaf at a time.

"See all them leaves must fall down, growing old

Fat titties turn to teardrops as fat ass turns to flab

Sores that was open wounds eventually turn to scab

Trees bright and green turn yellow, brown
Autumn caught em, see all them leaves must fall down, growin' old"